Honorable Mention, if not full Happy Hopping Moron: Marc Morano

We're not sure whether this one precisely fits our criteria, although there's an argument to be made that in the greater scheme of things this kind of selling out does a remarkable impression of moron by working against the survival of one's own species.

Today's Happy Hopping Moron: Richard Land

Richard Land says, "Let’s be very clear about what their agenda is, their agenda is to have the homosexual lifestyle affirmed by society as healthy and normal and as a perfectly acceptable to young people and to have those who disagree with that ostracized to the level of being Ku Klux Klansmen."

OK, so ... let's see. It's one thing to disagree with LGTA activists. It's another thing altogether to go where Dick Land just went. He didn't just disagree with marriage equality. He didn't just speak out for continuing discrimination in the Boy Scouts of America (BSA). Those would be merely controversial statements.

No, Dick Land went well beyond all that.

Dick Land willingly associated his side with the KKK. And not as their opposition.

That's just plain dumb. We're almost speechless. Almost, but not quite. We've got just enough speech left on this one to announce that Richard Land hands down earned his spot as today's Happy Hopping Moron.

Today: Recognition of a Group Award

Rather than awarding a Happy Hopping Moron title today, we'll instead recognize another award granted by the electorate:

from http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=521510184525981&set=a.473139882696345.118142.465176890159311&type=1

Today's Happy Hopping Moron: Charlie Fuqua

Arkansas Republican candidate Charlie Fuqua wrote a book including such gems as promoting the death penalty for rebellious children. We're not sure that's quite civilized enough to really be up to the level of moron, but we've consulted the rules and there's no official minimum bar for morons in the contest. As such, Charlie Fuqua is today's Happy Hopping Moron.

Today's Happy Hopping Moron: Paul Broun

The hard part in deciding to give today's award to Representative Paul Broun (R-GA) was that he had so much competition from the other Republicans on the House science committee.

Here's the statement that clinched today's recipient. Says Broun,

"All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of Hell. And it’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior. You see, there are a lot of scientific data that I’ve found out as a scientist that actually show that this is really a young Earth. I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says."

Metaphor! Rep Broun could use some familiarity with that concept. The Bible is a great book, but there's no commandment stating Thou Shalt Be A Complete Idiot. But it's not really for what some of us would call misinterpreting the Bible that he gets the award. Oh no, there would be too many potential recipients if we based awards on that.

No, it's for having the gall to accept a position on a science committee when one is essentially, fundamentally anti-science. And for that reason, Paul Brown (R-GA) is today's Happy Hopping Moron.

Today's Happy Hopping Moron: Bob Marshall

Republican Virginia State Delegate and sometimes Senate candidate Bob Marshall tossed his hat in the ring for the award at a press conference against state funding for Planned Parenthood, an organization that helps many people in many ways including providing cancer screening. It's not his first entry, but what clinched the title was his statement that,

The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children,” said Marshall, a Republican.
“In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

We'll set aside the idiocy of pretending that abortion is all of what Planned Parenthood is about when it's really just a tiny fraction of the work they do. There's a more glaring idiocy in Bob's statement. All of those parents whose children have any sort of handicap -- whether it be ADHD, dyslexia, or whatever -- might want to have a word with Bob. To suggest that any child (handicap or no) is a punishment goes well beyond insensitive or tone deaf and into the realm of abysmally stupid, especially for a politician who might like to get votes from the large number of parents, aunts, uncles, and other relatives of children with some kind of handicap or another. And that makes Bob Marshall today's Happy Hopping Moron.

Today's Happy Hopping Moron: Pamela Geller

Where to start with this one? Pamela Geller is primarily known as a blogger who named her blog after one of Ayn Rand's foolish fictions that celebrate the denial of the fact that cooperative effort has value for the individual. This should be obvious, but yet Rand's Objectivists fail to grasp that rational self-interest can often be best served by collective actions.

Which reminds me of a great parody video: "How Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard Came Up With Their Big Ideas". But back to Geller ...

Not content with basing her platform on the failosophical delusions of a hypocritical, half-baked fiction author, Geller has more than one-upped Rand on the road to ridiculous. She's co-founded a hate group. She's fully promoted the Birther idiocy on her blog, even adding novel new ravings to that field of crap. And now she's denying history, trying to claim that the advances from Islam's golden age are "revisionism" ... when in fact they're just history from a group's golden age.

So for all of the above -- and a few more things that we just couldn't bring ourselves to type because they're that moronic -- Pamela Geller is today's Happy Hopping Moron.